Bhakti-Thirta Swami aka John Favours

Letter from Bhakti-Tirtha Swami

(7th March 2005)

Dear Disciples and well wishers

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

I want to apologise, as I won't be able to travel to visit any of you in your various temples and projects. The cancer is spreading everyday. The tumours in my body are also getting larger everyday. My main personal caretaker at this time in addressing issues with my body is Dhruva Maharaja Dasa from S. Africa, he literally sleeps in the room with me every night. I am waking up about every hour and a half. I am not able to get up on my own to go to the bathroom so I have to be wheelchaired into the bathroom. He and Ekavira also have to bathe me each day. In many ways I've become fully an invalid, as some caretakers have to be with me at every moment of the day. We're seeing externally the tumours are getting bigger and we can understand that internally the cancer is gradually spreading all over the body with tremendous vigour. Now I'm mainly doing some treatments to try to minimise and dull the pain. At this point I could have weeks or (I'm so stubborn) still a few months. However, I really don't see how the soul will be able to stay in this body for months due to its rapid deterioration. Even though I'm still giving the classes once a week, which I hope you're all listening to, it has become so hard for me. On Sunday just driving from Institute house to the temple on the bumpy road in Gita Nagari, I felt like my already cancerous and damaged collar bone was going to fully break. It also felt as if my head and neck were too heavy for my shoulders and chest. At the same time however, I am dying on the battle field. Three days ago I did a one hour live radio show over the telephone and yesterday morning devotees managed to prop me up and dress me very nicely to make a recording for the Oprah Winfrey show. It seems that we have an angle to share with millions of people around the world who watch the show. Let us see if she picks up on this before I depart. It doesn't really matter, as the message has already been recorded, as well as the fact that my life has been my message in the rather unique way that I served Srila Prabhupada's mission.

For those who have received formal recommendations, I will start chanting on your beads next week. To save time we have purchased the beads on this side and once they're chanted on we will send them to you. We will post the new names of the first initiates and a list of the second initiates on www.btswami.com and they should later be posted on all the other foreign websites. For those who have been accepted for 2nd initiation, you will have to have a siksa or authority in you area who is a brahmin, to give you the mantra on my behalf (and the thread for men). This authority should explain to you all that is necessary for chanting the mantra. You will also receive a MP3 (on CD) of a short class I gave to the 2nd initiates in Gita Nagari about chanting Gayatri, but first you must hear the mantra in your right ear from someone in your area who makes a connection with you on my behalf.

Now the question is why am I at this time ready to take more disciples when I am leaving in a short time and won't see 99% of you again in this lifetime other than if I appear to you via visions, dreams or sound etc. I have prayed over this and my initial feelings were that since I cannot physically visit your places, I should just accept it as Krsna's mercy and request you all to take shelter elsewhere. However, I am feeling my higher self is now dictating that yes I should encourage you all, even those of you who are already initiated, to find formal siksa with other leaders and devotees. But since most of you are so deeply connected with me in the heart and some even have connected with me from a previous life, I want to do what I can in this short time to connect you with the parampara and to accept your ongoing love and devotion to me which I then pass on to my own guru.

So I cannot tell you no, I will not pass on your dedication and love to Srila Prabhupada as I must deliver whatever's necessary as his disciple, envoy and ambassador. Can you imagine in one sense, how difficult it is with all the physical complexities I am having, after being such an active person for almost my whole life. None of you can fully imagine how joyful and happy I am about how my impending death has had, and is having an impact on the international community. It is not only those in the ISKCON community or those just in the vaisnava communities but, also so many of the people who are connected with nama hattas, workshops and seminars that I've given in many other pious communities. So when I do finally leave, by the mercy of my guru, perhaps I will be able to return back to the spiritual world with great happiness, knowing that my little service on this planet has pretty much been carried out successfully based on my commission. So I want all of you now to fully accept that I have left, and just see any additional days, weeks etc as a special arrangement in bringing last closure to my little efforts to raise global consciousness. I will also begin to nourish my internal life more even though I chose to die active here in the west, on the battlefield. We really cannot join the residents of the spiritual world unless we are ready, or have become like them. So you can imagine I've got a whole lot of work to do in a short time. Don't worry; my books will have more impact after I leave, even though there are already 17 books being translated into 15 different languages. Those who know me closely know that I don't have any serious qualifications in any area but miracles have always happened around me, even to the point that I began to expect them. In other words, there are many things I have somehow been able to do, which I know were far beyond my rational power and influence.

The biography of my life that was written two years ago by a writer and disciple of Jayapataka Swami in Russian will come out in English at some point. I think the biography will increase your faith in Srila Prabhupada more. Just as the life of so many of our senior devotees, when fully shared, will show how they were brought to this mission so miraculously, what to say of their many awesome accomplishments. They are the real heroes. The difference between me and them, is that I was always upfront and often announcing or informing the vaisnava community of some of my achievements. I've always been spoiled and I've always found ways to get love and distribute love. Just look at my situation now. I will not and cannot die quietly. I will be receiving love and affection until I take my last breath. Thank you all so much for your love. Yes, I continue to repeat, 'I am blessed by the best and will never settle for anything less, and I'm just waiting to pass a few more tests'. But I'll only be able to pass these last tests as you send more of your love and as you show more determination to do more on your own part in making sacrifices for others. I will live on in such a wonderful way through my disciples, especially those rare disciples who will be 'love in action' as they interact as sweet sadhus in their various communities. What a wonderful life I've had and what a wonderful death I'm approaching. So upon reading this letter I request that you intellectually accept that the entity that you knew in this present and physical form is eternal but has already departed. I will not be personally answering anymore emails from disciples. If you send an email to me there's a chance that it'll be read to me and some of my caretakers will answer on my behalf. I will of course be answering emails from my God brothers, God sisters, leaders from other traditions who are in touch with me and those connected with the harinama press work in different countries.

The next 4 books that will come out; Beggar 4 - Die before Dying, which will be ready in 3 weeks , Spiritual Warrior 6-a book on terrorism, war, fanaticism, sectarianism and the peace solution, Reflections 5 - 64 principles for developing a sound vaisnava community by Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur, my little book on aparadhas and then my last book on surrender will all basically conclude the major messages that I wanted to share, in helping to bring about some national and international transformation. Some of the things that I have done in this lifetime, I have done in previous lives. So some things were just destined to happen in certain ways. Even the minority body that I've appeared in, in this lifetime has been given as a special asset for my services. I had a lot of fun, I raised a lot of hell, and oops...... I will keep doing it until the helpers who come for me tell me 'maharaja, you no longer have to deal with negativities. Your work now is all blissful loving service.' Next time when they come I will not procrastinate. Everything that needed to be said by me or done by me has all been done. Can you believe, I've even helped pick out my own samadhi and all the stuff that comes with it! I want even the arrangements for my remains to be upbeat. What can I say.......I am outrageous as a god brother, as a member of my biological family, as a disciple and as a spiritual master. Maybe Lord Nityananda and some of his cowherd boys gave me kick in head as i was leaving home : ) So what can I do? I refuse to take all the blame for my outrageousness. When the full biography comes out and when some of you later visit the museum that's being set up, and you see all the outrageous clothes, crowns, canes and the volumes of books that I used as references, you will realise its amazing how I appeared to be as sane as I did. But I guess there's some value in being insane in a world where the norms are down right expressions of insanity. So no time to waste just keep sending the love. Yes, I know you love me but I love you all three times as much. I will find some ways to show you this even more after I have departed.

Yours in Srila Prabhupada's Service

With Love
Previously known as John Favours, Ghanasyama, Swami Krsnapada,
Bhakti Tirtha Swami.

Mahavegavati dasi disciple of Prabhupad Godsister of BTSwami

Comment by Mahavegavati: Sadly, my Godbrother, I believe your cancer may be a resultant reaction to the tantra you were having done on me since March 6 2004. It's explained that the nature of tantra is such, that it MUST act; that when it doesn't have the "desired" effect upon the person to whom it is sent to harm, because it HAS to act, it will then return and act upon its sender. Is it possible THIS could be the reason for your present condition?

Comment by Aruna das: That you have become fully an invalid and that you have to be wheelchaired into the bathroom, is Krishnas mercy on you. Karma works so nicely. Since your godsister Mahavagavati was crippled under your care, you are getting back your own reactions and be crippled too. And since you even tried to arrange for mother Mahavegavati to be killed, Krishna is killing you too, with cancer, because you are evil. You only can be forgiven, if you publicly fall at Mahavegavati's feet and ask for forgiveness. If you don't do this, Krishna will not forgive you either. You live in a great hallucination, suffering from self-deceit. The Yamaduttas will be happy to receive you in their court.

Date: Sat, 5 Feb 2005 12:46:28 -0800 (PST)
From: "Mahavegavati Dasi (ACBSP)" <mvvd1@yahoo.com>
Subject: No...
To: .ca>
CC: .net>

Hare Krsna Lokanath prabhu,

All glories to Srila Prabhupada. PAMFO I hope all is well.

Not "courageous," just honest. (But I guess honesty in so many cases DOES take courage, considering...)

What finally made me come to this point (of becoming angry enough) to "get it out" and write as I did, came about after ___ (___prabhu's wife) who lives just down the road from Gita Nagari called and said some things to me concerning BT and his coming there in a few days (at that time).

Since BT has had cancer, ___ has been calling me periodically and telling me things like, "Oh, he's not looking so good. I feel so sorry for him..." on and on and on, DESPITE her knowing me for years, knowing what BT did to me, etc. She ALSO KNEW how BT SCREWED me over when I was supposed to come to live in Gita Nagari - which was where I was going to move to BEFORE BT took over as GBC. And later, (after BT had been in Gita Nagari as GBC), when some devotees who wanted me to come to live there, INSISTING I should come, I gave the money to buy a trailor to these devotees for the trailor. Before I did this, I kept telling them it was not a good idea; that I felt BT would not want me anywhere in any vacinity which would be near to Gita Nagari, and I kept telling them "BT will put pressure on you concerning this if he knows that I'm to come." But they kept INSISTING that I should come, and ASSURED me that they "would 'never' succomb to any pressure from BT," and "there would NOT be ANY problem," (since I would be coming to live, NOT ON THE PROPERTY, but OUTSIDE, somewhat near to Gita Nagari).

So on their INSISTANCE AND ASSURANCE (that they would not succomb to any pressure if it was to be made on them), I BOUGHT a trailor - sent them the money to purchase the trailor, which they did - and sure enough, BT DID do his politics, (THROUGH Baladev and Madhurya Lila, BT's having CONVINCED them what a "demoness" I was, that I "had become crazy from the head injuries she sustained in Africa" and that they should "convince" Annuradha - I think that was her name; she was a French Canadian devotee SDG disciple from Montreal who had been living in Gita Nagari for so many years).

So ___ KNOWING ALL of this, and knowing how I personally feel about BT, would call me and tell me the things she's been saying, about BT. (Why she's been calling and telling me the things she is, I have no idea, although she knew that in the beginning of BT's cancer, when I was told, I was also feeling sorry for him. But as time has gone on, seeing the emails he writes - I believe ONLY FOR THE PURPOSE of glorifying himself (as again, I KNOW BT, BETTER than ANY devotee in this movement; which BT HIMSELF admitted to) - his flying here and there, having doctors flown to where he is, using SO MANY THOUSANDS of dollars, etc., and getting THE BEST possible medical care for his bodily condition, (along with what I KNOW BT did, etc.), I've been having "mixed" feelings, not just of compassion, towards him.

So ___ went on and on, DESPITE her KNOWING all of the above. She would comment how BT has "so much money - THOUSANDS of dollars - at his disposal and has been spending so much money on his care," and would comment how "he's getting THE BEST, FIRST CLASS quality care, and she would talk about his having so many devotees serving him, (some even flying from different areas of the world to see/serve him), and his being flown here and there throughout the world to this and that doctor, healer, clinic, etc., as well as their flying IN doctors from different countries to see him. So between what Param Brahma was saying, PLUS my starting to become more freed up from the effects of blocked out consciousness from traumatization, what Param Brahma said, just "did something" to me, and I "went on a marathon;" the result being all those emails where I just "SAID IT LIKE IT IS!"

KNOWING that SO MANY (SINCERE) devotees, besides me, are suffering, (some of us more than others), and are NOT able to get ANY help from ANYONE, I just HAD IT, listening to this ___'s STUPID (ASININE) speaking in this regard, and I guess it went deep enough that I wrote out (first in pen) those two emails, then typed them in and sent them to BT, my REALIZING that one of us is going to end up dead before the other, and neither of us may have too much time left.

ALL these years I've been WAITING for HIM to come to me so that things could be "cleared up" but I FINALLY REALIZED that it may not happen, that time is running out, AND, (MOST IMPORTANTLY), the FACT that this DEMON (Bhaktitirtha Swami) KILLED our Godsister, and TRIED to have me killed because of what I knew, and when that failed, he did a VERY SUCCESSFUL character assassination on me in the ISKCON world. (ALL these years, due to the effects from the HORRIFIC traumas I had gone through under this DEMON, I had BLOCKED out SO MUCH of the really horrific things, and I've JUST STARTED to UNblock to the extent that I was (finally) ABLE to "spit it out" and say what I said concerning BT's MURDERING our Godsister, along with the other things I said.) So I wrote him as I did, and I'm GLAD that I WAS (finally) ABLE to SAY it, and WHILE he was/is still alive.

Now it's a matter of "winding down," taking proper shelter of Srila Prabhupada, Vaisnava and Krsna, and BEGGING for Their mercy and blessings. Other than this, I don't know HOW I will ever get over the HORRIFIC trauma I went through under that DEMON!!!

Even Ravana (and Duryodhana) were VERY CHARMING!!! and BEAUTFUL looking. (I NEVER got "captivated" by BT's charisma. Krsna has always protected me against the sakti of charisma - I suppose because Krsna knows how in so many OTHER ways through what weakness I have, I can get so easily manipulate, exploited, and abused. It was due to these OTHER weaknesses I'm possessed of, PLUS my desire to serve Srila Prabhupada, that BT was able to do to me all the years I was under his "thumb" the things he did. At least for Hladini, she was with BT for only a SHORT time, (and she got killed quickly with a bullet, and was with other devotees, all of them chanting Hare Krsna), but I was with that DEMON for SO MANY YEARS! and I STILL have to live with the results of his HORRORS and ABUSES!!!)

I hope all is well.
With love,

Mahavegavati Dasi
Hare Krsna

Broken Hearts
Mahavegavati's two letters to Bhakti Tirtha
Bhakti Tirthas reply to Mahavegavati
Bhakti Tirtha Swami - bogus Sannyasi, Guru, GBC