EUROPE November 30, 1998 VNN2580

Monika Is To Blame?

BY GURU-SHAKTI DAS

Monika and Harikesha

GERMANY, Nov 30 (VNN) A letter to Jayapataka Swami from Guru-shakti das:

Dear Jayapataka maharaja, please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

I tried to help Harikesa prabhu in many ways and for a long time until his behavior became intolerable for me to bear it any longer and I left him.

I had a deep insight in his life and his person. I saw the way he wasbehaving and I heard many things he was saying.

I wanted to write a report to the GBC and his former disciples but then Ithought that his reputation and image was already so damaged and that therefore there was no use of writing it.

But now after seeing how Monika is put in such a bad light and how shegets all the blame by Harikesa and yourself, I want to open my mouth forthe sake of justice and to clear up this point.

Although you don't know Monika and what she had to go trough, you still believe what Harikesa is telling you about her and you took his side.

It's very regrettable to see how Harikesa is using people for his purpose. As long as they play the game for him everything is OK, but as soon asthey don't play the way he wants, he throws them away and discredits themby accusing them in so many ways.

I saw this type o behavior so many times: Blaming ISKCON, blaming Srila Prabhupada, blaming other leaders of themovement, blaming his own disciples and even those who after Harikesa wasrejected by ISKCON were still trying to faithfully help him in differentways. Like the poor Russian devotees who gave him so much assistance,love, care and allot of money. He was treating them so badly and speakingabout them in such a negative way, making them look like big fools.Radhanatha was also a victim of such exploitive behavior.

I also made personal experience on how he was projecting his ownfrustration and defects on me.I also experienced how he was speaking very badly about Monika and she wasalso telling me how he was always criticizing me in her presence to makeme look bad in her eyes.

He NEVER admits his own mistakes and faults and he is very expert inprojecting them to others. He is so convinced about his greatness and whohe is (the famous identity problem he has) and that whatever he does isgreat and right, that it becomes impossible for him admit anything.

You say that he improved but now I can see that he did NOT.He still goes on blaming the others and posing himself as the poor victim.

This kind of behavior is unacceptable and is for sure not a sign ofimprovement as it sounds in your report. As long he is not changing thisrotten attitude and as long as he does not asks forgiveness from SrilaPrabhupada, his disciples, ISKCON leaders and even Monika I cannot take himserious and don't want anything to do with him.

He has to admit that he is just a normal human being like everybody else, with desire like everybody else. He has to admit that his sexual desires are not something of the spiritual nature and stop trying to make a"divine lila" out of it.

Is Kamalasundari now the "new expansion of Srimati Radharani and Parvati"? He was speaking like that when there was a big conflict between him and Monika. He was saying that Monika is not the right partner for him and that the trees and "they" (the devas) told him that Srimati Radharani will send another expansion for him.

The reason that he is more calm and less aggressive is not due to the fact that he is free from the "negative" influence of Monika, but due to the factthat finally he could get what he really wanted: a normal conjugal relationship and sex life with his new partner. It's a very simple formula. Now that he has a normal sex life he suffers less under his passionatemadness.

Monika made it very clear to him from the very beginning that she would notget into a conjugal relationship with him. She loved him as a friend.

He made so many attempts to push her in that direction and to have sex with her but she always refused, she never wanted to get into that dirtybusiness. Who could withstand such powerful attempts from a personality asstrong as Harikesa for such a long time? I must say my respect for such alady.

She was the one who stopped him from aggressing Ambhoda.She never wanted him to give up his Sannyas, she never wanted that hegives up his disciples and that he leaves ISKCON. It was he who told Monikaso many bad things about ISKCON. By the way Monika was visiting theAbentheuer temple on a regular basis before she got to know Harikesa.

He tried to buy her love in so many ways: by gifts, by money etc.He even wanted to put the Villa he bought in south of France on her nameand she refused.

She could have exploited him in so many ways if she wanted to.But this was no her intention. She loved him and she wanted to help himand she succeeded also. It was her who gave him back his health. Since thetime I was his disciple I have never seen Harikesa in such a healthycondition. This goes to her credit. She is a powerful healer and she did awonderful job. She definitely is a good person and does not deserve at allsuch blame.

She neglected herself, her family, her baby and she had to sacrifice her own freedom for the sake of Harikesa. He just wanted to posses her by all means. He is such a possessive and controlling person. She had to always beon call.

Now she is the black sheep and the one who deserves all the blame and he is the poor victim. What a joke!

Where is the love he was speaking about one month ago?Is he still Lord Siva? She must be not anymore Parvati. Is Leon still hisson who in reality is Prabhupada?

As long as he was a member of ISKCON, it was the most wonderful movement. Now that he is out of it, everything is bad about ISKCON. The same with Prabhupada. The same with so many wonderful devotees and ex- disciples. The same with his eternal lover Monika. He is using things, he is using (and was using) persons for his purpose, for his sake and for his thing. He is a very egocentric person.

All of this insights were very shocking to me. It is sad.

I made many realizations and it helped me to understand reality moredeeply. Of course my understanding about the role of the guru has changeddrastically since.

I could mention many more details, but at the moment there is no need to mention them. For sure Monika knows allot more.

Regarding the accusation that Monika wanted him to get the money, I most say that this is another lie of his. Monika was never into money. It was Harikesa who was constantly telling her how ISKCON has cheated him and how they wanted to get his three millions by unfair means etc. etc. She just reacted and gave advise on the information she was getting from Harikesa. Hecreated such a paranoiac situation as if the whole of ISKCON was trying tocheat him. This was also the reason why he kicked out Visvadeva and other disciples whom he considered loyal to him. This happened during thatcritical time of conflict for the money. For sure it was not Monika.

Again he cannot admit that it was him. He has to project it on others.Such cowardliness!

All of you may ask yourself why I went so far?For different reasons:

1. I did not want to blindly follow a GBC resolution.
2. I saw it as my duty as a former disciple to try everything to help my Guru.
3. I wanted to know what was really going on within Harikesa.

For sure it was not an easy thing, but I learned allot and I made manyvaluable realizations. I don't regret it.

It was never my intention to go with him. Although he offered me a very high salary, he wanted me to be his manager for his healing center andalthough he tried in so many ways to get me under his control and to makeit attractive for me, I never wanted to leave ISKCON and of course I neverwanted to leave the divine shelter of Srila Prabhupada, my real spiritualfather and master.

I had many arguments with him because I could not accept many of hisphilosophical conclusions. I once challenged him and Sannyas when theystarted to criticize ISKCON and partially Srila Prabhupada. Radhanatha canconfirm that I did not agreed with them.

I still love him and pray for his sake and I hope that one day he willcome back or at least become normal again. But as long as he does notchange his attitude and stops blaming others instead of taking personalresponsibility for what he has done in ISKCON as a leader and for what hehas done after giving up the shelter of Srila Prabhupada, I don't see anychances for him.

Your Servant

Guru-shakti das
(Harikesa disciples since 1979)

This story from URL: http://vnn.org/europe/EU9811/EU30-2580.html

From --------- Sun Jan 31 23:31:24 1999
Subject: VS: there's no use in sending me more emails
Date: Mon, 1 Feb 1999 08:28:06 +0100
as i now am going to hang myself, being thouroughly fed up with that demon
harikesa, my former 'guru' i can no longer take having his metaphysical
dick hovering about my crutch and his hot, disgusting energy hands
pestering my breasts former Mekhala devi-dasi
the line broke so now i'm half way down the second big cup of arsenic tea

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more about Harikesha
Chant Hare Krishna and be happy!