Satsvarupas apology letter

to the devotee community


Posted in PADA Newsletter May 30, 2004

Satsvarupas letter to all devotees

May 10, 2004

Dear disciples, friends, and family of devotees,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. I'm going to start by falling at your feet and asking for forgiveness for a mistake I committed a year and a half ago involving inappropriate dealings with a woman. I'll tell more about this later in the letter.

[PADA: There is a constant flow of "scandals" surfacing from Satsvarupa's (SDG's) Governing Body Commission's (GBC's) deviant "pure devotee gurus." Yet "the details" are only released after one, two, ten years, or never. In short, the GBC's "guru" deviations are clearly being "covered-up" for as long as possible. This is how SDG and his GBC handle all too numerous "guru scandals" amongst their "gurus" such as Bhagavan, Harikesha, Bhavananda, Ramesvara, Kirtanananda, ad infinitum. Their policy is to: "cover up the scandal." And this has lead many devotees to call SDG "the mushroom grower" since their policy is "to keep the devotees in the dark and feed them manure." Gladly, this is being noticed by many more devotees, so the GBC's false guru project is definately on its last legs. Prabhupada says "You can cheat (by being a false guru) but it will not be effective." Meanwhile, the "cover-up" policy has acted powerfully to suppress SDG's party's child molesting, beatings, murders and assorted criminal actions. Notice SDG says above, "I'll tell you about this later," yes, after it is front page news everywhere else. In other words, their guru's scandals are covered up, and their criminal byproducts are covered-up.

In this letter SDG explains how cover-up "protects his disciples." Yet SDG has never explained why he has the authority to take "his own disciples"? All the evidence, including Prabhupada's own "last will" (which we had to hijack from Hansadutta's safe since this too was being covered-up), show that SDG and his "eleven gurus" were never "appointed as gurus"? This has already been admitted to by many of "the eleven" themselves. "There never was any guru appointment," as Tamal, Hansadutta, Ramesvara, Harikesha, Jayatirtha and others have all admitted. In fact at one point Kirtanananda said, "The whole GBC is bogus because they say gurus are appointed, when everyone knows Prabhupada does not agree with appointed gurus." SDG therefore is still "keeping us in the dark"? Isn't this all a "big lie," that he and ten other deviants, namely some of SDG's homosexual and crooked friends, were "appointed as gurus"? As such, they have "disciples." As such, they have to make up more and more lies to cover up for their guru's scandals. Layers upon layers of lies? This "protects" their teeny guru franchise, while it destroys and bankrupts ISKCON with patterns of beatings, molesting and murders and bad media, and court cases etc.

SDG "covers up scandals," to protect "the disciples" of the appointed eleven. Yet there never was any appointment of eleven gurus? Moreover, Srila Prabhupada says REPEATEDLY that gurus are not appointed. Indeed, when asked, Prabhupada said he was not going to appoint any leaders (gurus). Moreover Prabhupada writes that "there is no record" of any gurus being appointed in his guru's mission, and that adherents of this "appointed guru" process are deviants. Again, there is no system of "appointing gurus" or similar ecclessistical processes governing the pure devotees of God? As we see above, SDG is writing "dear disciples" -- yet he has no claim to any "disciples" since he and his team of eleven -- lied -- that they had been appointed as gurus. Thus the first words in SDG's letter are outright lies: "dear disciples." Who "appointed" SDG as the Pope of ISKCON? He never tells us in 27 years? "When were you appointed as the Pope of ISKCON"? Srila Prabhupada explains that these false gurus "appoint themselves." Of course if we ask this question, as Jadurani devi did, and we get beaten almost to death into a bloody pulp as SDG orchestrates, this is all "divine lila" emanating from SDG. In sum, SDG and his pals like BR Sridhara Maharaja, BV Narayana Maharaja, BP and BV Puri maharajas, Tripurari swami et al., they militantly, violently and brutally assisted establishing that homosexual pedophiles are Krishna's appointed successors, and anyone who disagrees with their "appointment" (and/or subsequent mass molesting of children) will be beaten and killed. Any questions? And SDG says worship of Jesus or Prabhupada is "posthumous ritvik deviation" since pedophile worship alone is allowed, and folks like Rocana still use these slogans as well since he was a big fan of SDG's pedophile pooja. And "cover all this up as long as possible," so that the beatings, molesting and murders can go on nicely.

Nevermind that SDG's false gurus and subsequent cover-up process has devastated thousands of devotees. They are quite angry that they were mis-informed (cheated) about "the bogus guru appointment," other "guru problems," and SDG's guru regime's child molester project in ISKCON. These victims include many of ISKCON's ex-children. Many of them lived in orchestrated starving, beating and molesting, and this was also "covered-up" by SDG's party to "save the faith of the disciples" -- namely disciples of SDG's homosexual pedophile "gurus" regime. In sum, SDG's guru lineage is simply a well documented history of "abuses of power" -- even against children. Yet many devotees are now recognizing this more and more every day. Despite all of SDG's party's cover-up efforts they could not even save many of their own "disciples" from suffering mental breakdowns and crises when the GBC/ SDG "mushroom" followers discovered SDG had cheated them so badly. Some of the GBC/ SDG followers have had severe mental breakdowns and assorted nervous disorders, like Sanat. He went to the New York State's "county mental health clinic" and declared that SDG has twisted his brain and ruined his life. And the Government -- agreed. Again, many devotees are waking up to this victimization pattern lately, as the revolution against the GBC authority spreads widely. Of course one of "the disciples" of Jayatirtha who learned he was being cheated by SDG's party simply chopped off Jayatirtha's head with a dull knife. This is merely one example of the reactions to SDG's guru cheating program.

As soon as some poor innocent devotees try to uncover SDG's bogus guru claims and rectify the problems of ISKCON (i.e. mixing pure bhakti yoga with deviant behavior), they clearly do so at their peril since it has been common for "exposers" to be banned, beaten and even killed. The GBC still uses cult tactics such as lies, denial and sometimes violent repression. As such, they are not even on the most elementary spiritual platform of "straightforward dealings and honesty (satyam)." A number of people have written PADA recently to say, this is all these GBC are, cheaters in the name of religion. False gurus. Srila Prabhupada and all bona fide scriptures say that one of the FIRST qualities a devotee, even the most neophyte, is "honesty." Thus notice, SDG has no sympathy for the problems that the "exposers" have had, nor does he even address their issues? "No truth and no mercy."

Nor does SDG apologize for his creating the GBC's "culture of impunity," which he personally encouraged, authorized and instituted, and which he knows full well -- uses violent repression and has used murders. This is after all how SDG became "worshipped" as one of the only good devotee and Pope of ISKCON, by his viciously driving out most of the other devotees, and his using techniques like banning and beating. And murder. Of course after SDG's ex-wife Jadurani was assaulted at the Los Angeles Rathayatra, and then later on beaten almost to death in New Vrndavana, SDG could barely contain his gleeful gloating. SDG and his GBC's "anti-women, family and children," and "pro-deviant worship program" was progressing so nicely! SDG went on to glorify Kirtanananda, the orchestratror of the Jadurani beating, as "like Jesus, Haridasa Thakura and Prahladha."

SDG's party is thus from whence the policy of child molesting, women beating and hating, family hating, and deviant worship loving sentiment, in ISKCON, is emanating from all along. Kirtanananda is "like Jesus"? And Kirtanananda was even dressing like a Pope with a big golden crown, long silk robes, gold tipped cane. And so SDG thought this is "Jesus"! A fool who is covered with the hands of little boys, who is getting women beaten nearly to death, and who apparently has assassinated "dissenter" devotees buried in the hills, how pure can you get! And he has such a nice Pope robe! Self-appointed Popes love one another, birds of a feather.

SDG's endorsement of merely one of his eleven deviants, like Kirtanananda, caused more and more devotees to be beaten and killed; women to have their marriages destroyed; children to be destroyed by abuse, ad infinitum, and yet SDG never even seems to notice the bloody carnage under the treads of his GBC's army tank? Rumors were even circulating that 'dissenters' were being murdered at New Vrindavana, and then ground up in meat grinders, and fed to dogs. How sweet!

SDG's team can create an atmosphere of fear and anxiety for the devotees. This is "heaven" for a nice deviant worshipper like SDG. And simply for SDG's role in the beating of Jadurani, what to speak of his subsequent gloating, SDG will be ground up in the rollers of Yamaraja for a considerable period of time. Thus saith shastra, amen. There is some good news here -- if we could call it that -- since SDG has been the self appointed Pope of such a vicious regime, many devotees now readily believe his party indeed poisoned Prabhupada. As one devotee said to PADA, SDG's party has behaved with such a cold, calculating, vicious methodology, it would be a surprise if they had not poisoned Prabhupada?

Next, why is it that a renunciate "sannyasa's inappropriate dealings with a woman" is: "a mistake"? "I robbed the bank and shot the guard, but this was -- a mistake." "I put my hands down the pants of my disciples -- by accident." Some fools may still accept these "guru bhoghi rationalizations" like SDG's remaining loyalists such as Pranada, Valadeva Vidyabusana, Kaisori and others, although PADA is confident that even the last tier of SDG supporters will eventually wake up and quit serving this master of bunkum. This is the same old bogus GBC "guru lila story" we have heard over and over. Repeat after PADA, a Gaudiya Matha or GBC guru (and now SDG) is sexually aggressing himself upon a woman, even a married woman. Now, repeat that a ka-zillion times. This poor woman SDG had previously "ordered" to leave her first husband. And now he is working hard on his next project, disturbing her second marriage.

Prabhupada says, "Having illicit sex with an already married woman is like having sex with your own mother." This is not "a mistake," this is forbidden activity -- for even the common man, what to speak of "the pure devotee guru." Many devotees have wrote to say they agree with PADA, and that this incident simply proves that SDG is an ordinary man and not a guru, as PADA has said all along. And SDG always links his deviations to "serving Krishna and the devotees" when clearly he is serving: himself, just as cult leader Jim Baker claimed he covered-up having an affair to "serve the Lord." The end result was that millions of people were disillusioned with Jim Baker, and now they are disillusioned with SDG? This is all great news.]

* I want to thank you for all of the outpourings of love and support I am receiving in the many letters coming from god brothers, disciples, and friends. In this letter, I'm going to answer some of the questions that have been raised. You have been waiting too long for these answers. I will also continue to respond by letter to each of you. Let's start with the first question.

Question 1: Can you please explain what happened? Answer 1: For the past twenty years, I have been contending with the dominant battle in my life — a painful and serious disease.

[PADA: Satsvarupa admits that his "illness" is actually a "mental disorder" -- namely panic and "anxiety" attacks which gives him "incapacitating headaches." SDG admits the best medical doctors cannot find any "physical" cause for his ailment. The cause of SDG's "physical illness" is -- his mental illness. SDG is a neurotic, psychotic, mental nut case who is "incapacitated" -- by his own self-created mental delusions. Of course SDG's "I am the victim" (of illness etc.) is often just an act played by many similar cult leaders and tyrant dictators to get sympathy. The scriptures say a devotee must be "sane." Indeed "being sane" is one of the "qualities of a devotee" as stated by Rupa Goswami in his "Nectar Of Devotion."

Yet Satsvarupa always says, "Who cares for Rupa Goswami? I am the great SDG and I say 'devotees are not sane.'" SDG "rewrites scriptures" at every turn. "Rupa Goswami says there is 'nectar' in serving Krishna, but the great SDG says, there is only stress, anxiety, rebound headaches, pain, and then even more crippling headaches, while laying about in bed all day long, staring at the walls, drooling due to drug stupor." Indeed SDG writes in his Journals that "I am the guru of headaches." "Lord Chaitanya says that devotional service 'decreases' the fire of material existence to almost nil, while the great SDG says that devotion to Krishna -- increases -- the fire to the point of intolerable anxiety and painful incapacitation, and drug induced stupor. Prabhupada says devotional service is joyful and blissful, but the great SDG says it is painful and disabling. Prabhupada also says: gurus do not have zones; gurus are not ecclesiastically appointed; gurus are not homosexuals; gurus are not voted in, but who cares for him? I am the great SDG and I say: they are! And in sum, whatever Prabhupada says, you can chuck that in the circular file and accept me, the new guru for the universe. Wow! What a humble guy I am! Why do we care for Rupa Goswami's authority"?

And so SDG concocts layers upon layers of vastly convoluted "standards for devotees," even the purest of devotees, -- they are first the subject of reams of rules for appointing, empowering by GBC votes, sometimes voting out, excommunion, sannyasa ministry censure, and then when this smokescreen fails, they are full of pain, anxiety, headaches, that they are mentally and physically incapacitated. Gurus actually need taking shelter of false mentors (asat-prasangat) such as (karma-kanda) mundane psychotherapists, psychotropic drugs. And according to SDG's "co-gurus" like Harikesha, pure devotees also need to wear condoms when they have sex with their "therapists." Thus, on the one hand, SDG and many similar cult leaders and his GBC's gurus seem to have these same chronic, unexplained, mysterious, painful mental anxiety "diseases." And we have seen SDG's "co-gurus" like Harikesha, Mukunda, Hansadutta, Jaggadisha, Vipramukhya, Ramesvara, Kirtanananda, Tamal, Giriraja, Jayadvaita, and many other GBC "gurus" who also have some lengthy "unexplained illnesses"? They even often admit that they are: "mentally ill." Why? Because they are totally out of touch with Krishna. On the other hand, PADA's editor is barely in touch with Krishna at all. Perhaps only a drop in a bucket's worth, but that teeny drop of "Krishna connection" keeps PADA's editor almost completely headache free, and for the most part, anxiety free as well? We never need to take any drugs, what to speak of SDG's high powered psychotropics? PADA editor's recent job health checkup nurse said, "Lower than normal blood pressure, ninety nine percent good blood oxygen levels (i.e. no signs of stress)." So, this would be more normal for a devotee? Prabhupada says a devotee can expect good health, blissful consciousness, and in sum a real devotee is the antithesis of SDG.]

* I've tried to treat this disease in a number of ways. For ten years I took no medicine of any kind, either herbal or allopathic, while receiving treatment from a naturopathic doctor. Naturopathy did not relieve me of my pain, nor did it make me better. It simply left me underweight and anemic. I won't bore you with the list of alternative medicines that I tried. From acupuncture to Ayurveda, I have tried them all. But there were no positive results. When I first started with allopathic treatments, I tried over-the-counter medicines and soon wound up with what are called rebound headaches, where the "cure" itself gives you headaches. I went to a doctor, who prescribed more sophisticated and expensive medicines, which gave me a few days off from the pain, but these too created rebound headaches.

[PADA: Yes, this is what happens to many similar GBC gurus and someone like cult leader Jim Jones. They start taking "expensive allopathinc medicines" -- otherwise known as psychotropics. They are "gurus" -- "stoned on drugs." Notice, the GBC's "gurus" often do not even discuss taking shelter of Krishna, as they advertise they are doing. Rather, they "seek shelter" in psychotherapy, medicines like percodan, speculative psychics, astrologers, cheaters, bluffers, ghost busters, female massage therapists, drug detox centers, mood music, LSD, ad infinitum. And SDG is usually silent about everything until the GBC's molester guru cult is in big trouble, then he suddenly emerges like a troublesome spider from his cave to write some "position papers." And he also writes "the new GBC's black list of devotees to purge, threaten and harass," to help his molester guru project along, until their controversial regime looks secure once again. Why doesn't SDG try to write a paper, "How pure devotees are constantly paralyzed by headaches, until they get relief from psychotropic drugs," -- and "prove" this -- from scriptures? He cannot: because scriptures do not describe a guru's pure devotional service in this manner? Ever. In other words, SDG never has time to write a paper to describe his own condition, or to help the devotees at large, but despite all apparent health risks and great troubles, SDG has plenty of time to support the worship of his favorite deviants as -- God's successors?]

* It was despairing to live each day with constant and acute pain. Somehow, in the hours in between pain, I managed to write, including letters.

[PADA: Yes, it is true that Pope SDG "writes letters," but what does he write? SDG is the imperious (GBC/ Papal Bull?) style "decree writer" for the GBC, "Those who do not accept the GBC's bogus gurus are 'poison pens.'" Again, SDG has "plenty of time" to write letters in defense of his favorite deviant guru project, but he has "no time" to address the ills and evils that his regime is causing. And SDG's co-guru Hansadutta says there is only one cure for these "guru" headaches: "Admit you are not a guru and tell your followers they are Prabhupada's devotees, not yours." Hansadutta says he is simply amazed that SDG does not give up his false guru posturing and thus solve his "headaches" problem.]

* I even pursued a lot of traveling and visiting temples. Sometimes I would give a Srimad Bhagavatam class and afterwards I would have to lie down in a van in my bed all day. Then I would give another Srimad Bhagavatam class the next day. Devotees didn't recognize symptoms of migraine and many still can't.

[PADA: Why can't devotees "recognize" SDG's chronic migraine problem? That is because the poor confused devotees read in Srila Prabhupada's books, every day, that "Devotional service is eternal happiness, pure ecstacy, bliss, and is joyfully performed, etc." The devotees are baffled, why is devotional service all of a sudden "a painful experience, stressful, anxiety, which produces the constant paralysis of migraine headaches, which makes one bed-ridden and in need of psychotropics and enemas like a ninety nine year old dementia patient." This is what SDG admits above that, "many devotees still can't recognize" -- what is the problem here? Because SDG contradicts scriptures/ shastra. The scriptures say that pure devotees are experiencing eternal bliss, not pain, misery and headaches? SDG is confusing people, that is why they do not recognize/ understand what he is saying: (a) that he is a mentally ill drug addict incapacitated by headaches, which is (b) the "blissful and joyful symptom" of the guru's pure devotional service to God? This is baffling.

As such, SDG is leveling a severe insult against Krishna and devotional service, "You would not want to serve God would you? Because then you'll have constant, painful, incapacitating, chronic headaches, and you'll need mundane psychotherapists, and expensive psychotropic drugs." SDG is attacking and belittling devotional service. Prabhupada says devotional service is ever increasing happiness or "sukha," whereas SDG says devotion to God is "asukha-udarkam" -- more and more: unhapiness? This is why scriptures says these false gurus (veda vada rata) are destined to go to the darkest nether regions, since they say that pure (shaksat hari) devotion to God is a worse form of darkness than regular mundane life. So they will go to dark places of the worst darkness themselves. In any case, the false gurus simply create chaos and confusion (as the Fourth Canto states) as SDG admits, his followers are STILL baffled about his "eternal pain" symptoms. We are not baffled, he is a pasandi, a rewriter of the scriptures.]

* They didn't realize how sick I was. The travel and lecturing only exacerbated my condition. Finally, my health almost reached a complete breakdown. As some of you may remember, I was Guru and / or GBC manager for a geographic zone including Ireland, much of the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast United States, the Caribbean, Vancouver, and Gita-Nagari farm. Over time, the weight of this service began taking its toll on me until, with the illness, I was often confined to bed.

[PADA: "I was the guru for a geographical zone"? Prabhupada says that when a "guru" says he has "a geographical zone" -- this is proof that he is bogus. The bona fide guru is the guru -- for all -- human beings, not just a village or region. Herein SDG admits that he is one of the founder fathers/ leaders of this bogus "zonal" guru idea. SDG claims that "gurus" have designated franchise areas like some mundane business (or as the smarta gurus of India). This is merely another result of SDG's mental speculation. In a nutshell, (a) SDG says he and his guru pals are the "current" acharyas/ messiahs. Simultaneously (b) SDG's alleged messiahs are -- "and/or a GBC"? What? A messiah/ pure devotee guru is not subordinate to -- a Governing Body, compromised of neophytes? And notice, because juxtaposing these two functions is so sinful, "I am often confined to bed."

Nor is there any recorded history of ANY pure devotee (diksha) "gurus" being subordinated to a Governing Body, comprised of neophyte devotees, as SDG proposes? No. "The guru" is in direct communion with God (shaksat hari tvena) whereas the Church's "Governing Council" members are another category of devotee altogether. The neophyte "managers" are supposed to be "the disciples" of the pure devotees and bona fide gurus. They act as the actual GURU'S preachers, proxies, managers, priests, agents or representatives, aka GBC's. Satsvarupa tries to artificially mix the two platforms: (a) neophyte devotees (members of a Governing Body) or as he says "managers," and (b) the messiah/ guru platform. SDG is somewhat like the medieval Papal advocates, a manager, priest, or bishop is "voted in" as the de facto messiah/ Pope, just as the GBC votes in their Popes/ gurus. No wonder this is making him sick, this is the exact antithesis of the teachings of the Vedas. There is no recorded history of any (uttama) pure devotee/ guru/ messiah/ -- subordinating himself -- to the whims and "votes" of the neophyte (kanistha) Church "manager" class of devotees. This would be like a college professor "taking orders" from the kindergarten class members? It is absurd. It is a contradiction, it is hypocrisy, hence, the headaches.

SDG thinks a person like Jesus is some local village Church "manager"? SDG cannot avoid insulting and minimizing pure devotees, even for a second? He is constantly attacking them daily. Hence, his "daily" headaches will continue for thousands, and more likely millions and billions of years, without any relief in sight. SDG is simply yet another version of the Pharisees, "The pure devotee is subordinate to the Pharisee Governing Council," which is why Jesus says of these Pharisee/ SDG types, "Oh ye hypocrites, sons of vipers." Of interest, the Pharisees helped in getting Jesus attacked by the Romans, just as SDG helps Tamal's "poisoning of Prabhupada" party. SDG's hero gurus are heard on audio tape saying "the poison is going down" -- while they are in Prabhupada's room, and so these are SDG's heros. The guru attacking poisoners and SDG are holding hands under the table.

Of interest, a prominent SDG disciple recently said, "There is no doubt that they (some GBC) are talking about giving Prabhupada poison while they are in his room." Notice that SDG does not comment on this, because that means, he has the blood of Prabhupada on his hands by forcing ISKCON to worship these deviants, and keeping the devotees away in 1977 so "the dirty deed" could be done. SDG also endorses the GBC's goonda project which attacks Prabhupada's devotees, women, children, cows. This is like an armed warfare between the Elite Special Forces SWAT team vs. the "Sisters Of Charity" nuns. SDG helps the armed SWAT team punch the lights out of the nuns. Face it, SDG is the biggest cheerleader of the worship of child molesters and guru poisoners and devotee beaters on the planet, which is why the Isopanisad says the Yamadutta's have a special place reserved for these false gurus. The Fifth Canto says this devotee beater crew will be crushed in the rollers of Yamaraja. As Prabhupada notes, sometimes the Yamadutta's cannot wait to get their hands on some renegades like this. That is why SDG has "anticipatory anxiety headaches." He is deeply worried, indeed "anticipating" that at his end, which is mighty well nigh, maybe there is a God and he will be held accountable for all of his support of all these deviations -- in Krishna's name? No wonder many of the abused gurukulis "blame Prabhupada and Krishna," since this is what they were taught by this SDG fellow. So he will have to answer for why he turned thousands or even millions of people -- away -- from Krishna. The good news is that we would not trade our fifty billion years of wretched dog-life's karma -- for one second of SDG's future karma, since he has the karma no one EVER wants to face, neither anticipatory headaches will save him.]

* This occurred simultaneously with a crisis in the GBC itself and dissatisfaction within the members of the movement over the "zonal guru" designation.

[PADA: This is another SDG smokescreen attempt, "The problem is that the gurus that we falsely promoted, and crammed down your throats with violence: have zones." No, the "problem" is that SDG's "Jesus-like gurus," which he vociferously crammed down our throats, are homosexuals, pedophiles, deviants, orchestrators of violence and murders, and apparently -- poisoners of Prabhupada, ad infinitum? Worse, SDG is one of the founder architects of "the zonal guru system." He admits he has been in the illusion that gurus have "zones"? They still do have zones? He therefore created his own crises, and ISKCON's crises, and the scandalous guru imbroglio. Again notice, SDG thinks the whole crisis was that "some gurus were under the illusion of having zones," which neatly avoids the subsequent multiple crises of: drug addict gurus, sex monger gurus, child molesting gurus, machine gun gurus, LSD gurus, marriage breaking preaching, devotees being banned, beaten and sometimes killed, the cow torture problem, bad publicity, lawsuits, suicides, bankruptcy, ad infinitum -- all of which are -- the results -- of his bogus zonal gurus? He does not even discuss the byproducts of his bogus zonal gurus? This is like Stalin. He said that the whole problem is that he cannot find a good newspaper in Moscow. No, the problem is, his policy of mass killing and so on?]

* At this time, I resigned from the GBC. I tried to keep traveling as a sannyasi even with the realization that travel worsened my headaches.

[PADA: Notice, instead of SDG admitting that his zonal guru program was and is wrong, SDG merely sidestepped the issue and "resigned from the GBC." Yet then he became their overall, overarching leader of the entire GBC by declaring himself to be the GBC's main Pope/ mentor/ writer "guru." Now SDG was in a higher post than all the GBCs. He appointed himself as the GBC's unimpeachable, totalitarian, overarching guru/ leader/ messiah/ Pope -- and spokesman/ writer. SDG did not want to be a mere GBC "manager," he wanted to be the overarching guru of the entire ISKCON and its GBC, ruling the whole of ISKCON by being the philosophical caretaker and "decree maker" (he is the GBC's MAIN "position paper" writer). SDG has placed himself in charge of the whole of ISKCON as its main "appointed and zonal guru" thesis paper writer, and this de facto places him in charge of the whole GBC by making himself their main architect i.e. "position paper" writer/ apologist/ cheerleader/ spokesman/ guru. Yet, now he admits that his new concoction: made his health condition "worsen." SDG jumped out of the frying pan of being "a manager," into the fire of being "the pure devotee, sum total of the demigods, messiah," and "position paper" architect/ writer -- for his molester beeja guru lineage. Then he wonders, why is my health condition "worsened"? Because, his grandiose illusions of greatness were growing by leaps and bounds and he became the main architect/ writer/ apologist for his "enforced cult ritualistic worship of homosexual pedophiles regime." As one ex-gurukili said to PADA's editor, "How ya gonna 'splain that to Yamaraja, Mr. SDG dude? You gonna write him a 'position paper'? Hah. 'Deviants and guru poisoners are equal to Krishna because ....' And Yamaraja will say, 'Can someone shut that guy's yap up for a few billion kalpas, I just can't take this barf-hole's crap for one more second'"? Well stated, eh?

Notice the narcissism of SDG (sounds like a retread of Harikesha, don't it folks), "my headache, my health crisis, my therapy." We took a yellow magic marker to one page of SDG's "Journals" and underlined where he uses the word "I" -- thirteen times -- on just one page. Again notice. No mention of the molested and beaten and killed victims of his policy. This is the classic symptom of a cult leader and dictatorial tyrant (Stalin): self - absorption. Again, even up to today, notice: SDG never seems to mention the molested kids, the beaten-up devotees, the murders, the frozen to death cows, the bankruptcy, the bad publicity, and so on, ad infinitum, due to his deviant policies. The whole "issue" is just some minor league "zonal guru" misunderstanding, which is nothing compared to "my headaches, my pills, my therapy, my writing, my realization, my health, my travel, my disciples, my preaching, my experience, my zone, my expensive pills, my crisis, my new rubber boots, my kicking dead sea gulls on the beach, my poem to Spiderman shoes, my art, my Journal, my diary, my zen koan poems, my sannyasa, my siksa gurus Sridhara and Narayana, my resignation from the GBC, my position papers, my mood music, my massages, my psychic's advice, my Howard Johnson's motel room, my motor home, my saxophone, my back ache, my female therapist -- who has no certificate, my 'freestyle' writing, my phone calls to Ravindra, my guru pal Kirtanananda, my allegience to the GBC, my, my my -- ad infinitum, etc." SDG even wrote once about: "my enemas." Psychologists call this anal retentive. My oh my, oh my me, oh me oh my, I my oh mine, my, I mean me! Prabhupada says: I, me and mine. Yet notice, he fails to tell us that the "zonal guru" concoction is created -- by him? This is his "problem" and he ignores solving it. He worries about his me-oh-my personal problems, but he has no concern for the society and its members and how they are suffering under his bogus zonal guru policy, and in sum, his enforced molester worship lineage policy. And what about varnasrama, farms and the real orders of Prabhupada? Not mentioned?

This is again why shastra says these cult leaders -- false gurus are "destined for the most obnoxious regions," they have no feelings towards the suffering of others. They are the most selfish -- self-absorbed people on the planet. And this is certainly reflected in SDG's writings, he never seems to mention the victims of his policies, but there is plenty of "my this, my that" -- to the ad nauseum extent. Many tyrant dictators write in the same exact style, "my health, my flower garden, my empire, my violin playing, my city plan, my army" ... and in sum, Emperor Nero writes -- like SDG? This is why these tyrant gurus are generally mentally and physically sick, a normal devotee has NO CONCERN for himself. He ONLY thinks of service to, and the welfare of, others, and of course Krishna, and he is moreover NOT thinking of himself. To be obsessed with "my this, my that," this is also what the greedy wealthy class of people indulge in, and as such they are punished severely after death for their self-absorbed program, and they also do not consider how they are hurting others, just like SDG.]

* While many events in my life led to this condition, severe headaches were first triggered by my experiences as a manager and "zonal guru."

[PADA: SDG's headaches are the result of his trying to live his own contrived contradiction and "big lie." There is no such thing as a "manager/ GBC -- AND/OR zonal guru" as he always says he is supposed to be? These are all concocted designations. There has never been, in the entire 5,000 years history of the Gaudiya Vaishnava society, "a manager/ GBC -- and zonal guru." This is all deviation. A Church Governing Body Council member (a neophyte/ aspirant/ sadhaka) is not -- the messiah, i.e. the Jesus-like (parisad) guru. Nor is the opposite true? There are specific capacities and functions for both categories of devotees. The GBC says their gurus are pure devotees (parisads), yet their gurus are (sadhakas) who are "not chanting their rounds," so they fall down. No. The associates of God do not need to follow any regulative practices, they are eternally liberated souls who always think of Krishna? Do the pure devotees like the gopis have to get up every morning an attend the regulative temple functions and "chant their rounds"? No, they are beyond all these regulative processes, they ALWAYS think of Krishna without any external practice required. The GBC and SDG always mix up the sadhana devotee and the self-realized devotee -- as one and the same platform. This is called "sahajiya" (cheap imiation). And Srila Prabhupada says these sahajiyas, bogus babajis and false pure devotees are headed for -- a hellish destination for mixing these levels.]

* My work in ISKCON in these capacities involved doing kinds of services for which I was not well suited.

[PADA: Surprise! No one is "suited" to be "a (sadhaka) manager/ GBC -- and zonal (parisad) guru" because there is no such thing? This is all mental concoction.]

* My psychophysical nature is more to be a poet and writer and lead a quiet life, not to be doing management and "quarreling" with god brothers — it hurt me to have to face my duties in this way.

[PADA: This is another SDG concoction, and another insult to Krishna and His pure devotees. SDG says that gurus, pure devotee residents of Vaikuntha, the messiahs from heaven, those who are "eternally embracing Krishna" (Krishna lingita vigraha) -- are always angrily snapping at each other and "quarreling" with each other like mundane politicians? SDG always says this, that the "pure devotee messiah gurus of the universe (Jagat)," "the assistants of the gopis," "the residents of Vaikuntha," are always overcome by the sinful age of Kali Yuga, and as such they are always "quarelling" and barking at one another like a pack of vicious dogs. SDG thinks that God's Kingdom is like some bar in East Los Angeles where there is arguing, if not knife fights, going on all day. SDG has the lowest opinion of God and His Kingdom than almost anyone on earth.

And as such "being in the association of Krishna's purest devotee gurus: gives me a headache" says SDG. And SDG says this all the time, the pure devotee messiah/ guru residents of Vaikuntha -- are always serving Kali Yuga (sinfulness) and as such: "quareling." SDG says, association with the pure devotees of God "gives me a headache"? I would like to go to heaven, but that is a headache of pain and quarrel. What! One can only imagine the pain SDG will endure for insulting the kingdom of God -- as the reservoir of -- quarrel and pain. Even if someone was to think about it for years together, he could not insult God worse than this SDG, who says association with God's pure devotees is a painful headache of vicious dog-like quarrels. Of course SDG also says association with a pure devotee like Jesus is sometimes: anal reconstructive surgery for boys.

In short, SDG says Krishna's abode of Vaikuntha is a place of: bogus zonal territorial guru claims, vicious name-calling, arguing and infighting, big egos, nasty and loud shouting quarrels, depression, psychotherapy, psychotropic drugs, female counselors for the guru, etc. And of course SDG has dragged in his other favorite "qualifications for God's pure messiahs" such as that they may also be: homosexuals, pedophiles, murderers, ad infinitum. So why would anyone bother trying to "go back home to God," since it is more peaceful to live in any sinful city in the world and have a more peaceful existence than living in SDG's "Vaikuntha"? In sum, SDG says that living with God in heaven is a hellish place full of fighting, eternal pain, headaches, pedophile molesters etc., whereas the material world is -- more like heaven, since at least here one can get some nice psychotropic drugs and have some peace, albeit, being stoned on drugs?]

* Finally, I found a psychiatrist M.D., who accurately diagnosed me as suffering with anxiety disorder, the apparent cause of the migraines.

[PADA: Bona fide scriptures say that the residents of the spiritual world of Vaikuntha, and indeed all beings on the pure spiritual plane, are defined (also by Prabhupada) as "free of anxiety." Yet now, all of a sudden the pure devotees are all "suffering from anxiety"? And worse, now the residents of Vaikuntha have to: seek out, surrender to, take shelter of ... some ordinary sinful man who reads about Sigmund Freud's theories? SDG admits he is now a disciple of Sigmund Freud, not Krishna? The guru is not taking shelter of God but instead: Sigmund Freud? How can people listen to all this psycho-babble drivel is what amazes us at PADA? The pure devotee angels from heaven, have to come to visit Stockton California, and take shelter of Sigmund Freud's "psychiatric help," here on planet earth? And worse, the pure devotees now have to take lots of psychotropic drugs to relieve their "anxiety"? Which previous acharyas had "anxiety disorders," which they "cured" with Sigmund Freud's theories? And then they had to take psychotropic drugs? Mundane "psychiatry" is clearly another form of "mental speculation" of the karma kanda class of pasandis. It is certainly not a recognized Vedic source of knowledge? Where does Prabhupada say he wants his followers and "gurus" to surrender to these mundane karmi speculative philosopher's ideas, the materialists, and in short -- people who may perhaps -- not even believe in God? Or they may take intoxicants, or frequent brothels, liquor houses, meat - slaughterhouses, and gambling casinos? This is the source of "cures and inspiration" -- for the residents of the spiritual world? Freud was right about one thing however, he says many (ordinary) men "wanted to have sex with their mothers." And Srila Prabhupada says that "having sex with another man's wife is exactly like having -- sex with your mother." Freud -- is right -- about SDG, at least. Also, someone wrote to tell us that Pranada is not a certified psychotherapist? How did she get tossed into this mix, SDG fails to tell us? He needs therapy, or he needs a woman? He is still holding back important details.]

* Additionally, when I worry that I'm going to get a headache, the worrying itself actually causes a migraine. This is called anticipatory anxiety syndrome. He prescribed that what we must do is stop the pain.

[PADA: Yes, the "good doctor" prescribed a bunch of "expensive," and powerful chemical psychotropic medications, just like Hansadutta, Jim Jones and many other "gurus and messiahs" ended up: taking shelter of intoxication. "Stoned on meds." So SDG went to a psychiatrist to get a prescriptions for drugs, which is also by the way many B-grade Hollywood actors and forgotten music stars do all the time, as anyone who has read their latest issue of "National Inquirer" knows very well. "Courtney Love has been taking psychotropic drugs, so therefore, she is the pure devotee guru of the Jagat"? These forgotten actors and worn-out singers are all the time caught taking such pschyotropics, and they are also joining SDG by going to a psychotherapist, blah, blah, blah. These are not the "pastimes of the pure devotees saints from heaven"? This is also what happens all the time here in our fine, albeit foggy, city of San Francisco. Some dirty crazy man starts screaming and cursing on the street, and the regular business people say, "Oh, this crazy man -- he forgot to see his psychotherapist today and get his prescription of 'meds.'" This is the platform of "assisting God in His pure conjugal pastimes"? One has "anxiety attack disorder" and needs his medications, and so, that makes him "the guru of the universe"?]

* This became our priority. He said that the side effects of medicine were not as dangerous for me at the present moment as complications from chronic pain. At the same time, I should enter counseling and fully occupy myself with trying to improve my situation with this kind of health treatment. I began to try to balance my healthcare needs with my responsibilities to Prabhupada and my disciples. The choice of counselor did not work out. First of all, especially for a sannyasi, it's not ideal that the counselor and the client be of different sexes. Among devotees, however, there were not many counselors from which to choose. This person was recommended by a close disciple and another devotee counselor because she had the same disease and had received treatment for it. In fact, she had not been formally trained as a counselor.

[PADA: Well again, if this is Pranada, according to our sources, she is not a professional counselor, as SDG admits herein? The reason Pranada was chosen was -- not -- that she was a counselor? So why was she "giving psychotherapy counsel" -- if she was not qualified? This is another mystery. Harikesha also had a counselor, also a woman, who had no degree in counseling, but was handy at "physical intimacy"? Perhaps the reason SDG chose Pranada as his mentor is: that she is a female? And he merely wanted female association? SDG says Pranada also had the same type of nervous breakdown? Why? Because SDG has tampered with, and ended, ... her first marriage? In any case, a person who has had a nervous breakdown is now, the mentor/ counsel for -- the Jagat guru of the universe? SDG simply raises more questions than he gives answers. Notice also, "the priority" is not -- fixing ISKCON, getting the devotees back who were viciously purged, and so on.

* At first, we began working by exchanging correspondence. By telephone, she would give me different practices to do like breathing and listening to certain tapes that aid a person with my condition. Anxiety disorder is actually a widely prevalent disease in the United States, which affects millions of people.

[PADA: Great! All of a sudden: a person like Jesus, the sum total of the demigods, the uttama adhikary guru, the assistant of the gopis, the person who absorbs sins of the universe, like Jesus is -- just like "millions" of ordinary pill popping psychotherapy patients, who have to listen to breathing technique tapes, relaxation mood music, ... or black ghetto music, which SDG is supposedly hearing? Again, SDG thinks the guru is an ordinary man, and worse, the guru is a lower grade ordinary man, he needs mental help, mood music, chemical pills, to carry on? He cannot even function on the most basic levels?]

* There was not too long ago a cover story about it in Time Magazine.

[PADA: Great, gurus like Jesus -- have chronic migraines and need pills and psychotherapy? We missed that story?]

* She recommended that we have person-to-person sessions, in which she could try to confront the anxiety disorder. At first, this work produced some good results. Unfortunately, a naturally occurring emotional attachment between the counselor and client was mishandled. As soon as we realized what was happening, we saw the danger of it — me being a sannyasi and she a married woman. We talked seriously and decided that we had to stop our counseling, and end our friendship, having no contact at all. I see no reason to go into further detail except to say that we did become physically intimate and this was wrong.

[PADA: But gurus do not need psychotherapists? Period? And SDG was physically intimate, with a married woman? So he do not respect the order of sannyasa, or the order of marriage? And he says gurus need to surrender to Sigmund Freud? Sigmund Freud smokes a pipe, what has SDG been smoking in his pipe is the question here? Paint thinner?]

* Question 2: Why were you silent about the inappropriate action until it had been exposed? Answer 2: We did not see the need for it since the relationship had been completely closed. My disciples and many others could suffer because of just one incident.

[PADA: There has not been just one incident? There has been thousands of scandals amongst your gurus and you never admit that the whole thing is a farce and an insult to the platform of pure devotion?]

* To broadcast it all over would simply cause more harm than good. Those who theorize about the truth and say that anything other than broadcasting is a "cover up" have a technical and theoretical definition of truth, which is not necessarily absolute.

[PADA: What kind of word jugglery is this? Those who "theorize" about the truth, want -- a cover-up? The truth is a theory and not "absolute." What you see is not what you get. READ: We can bend the truth to fool our followers. Go to court and say "the truth is a theory and not an absolute fact." Well SDG will have to tell that to Yamaraja, so get himself ready.]

* I saw a higher morality in continuing on with my devotional service by working through this test on a daily basis in counseling, this time with a trained male devotee counselor. I felt I was rectifying the mistake within my relationship with Prabhupada and Krsna and that the greater good would be served by trying to protect my community of loved ones.

[PADA: There is no "mistake"? You made a conscious choice to have physical intimacy with a female counselor?]

* Question 3: Why did it take so long to hear from you after the news came out? Answer 3: An anonymous letter was sent to the Sannyasa Minister, who began an investigation. Dissatisfied with the pace of the inquiry, the anonymous author posted his story on the Internet.

[PADA: Well we are still dissatisfied. You now say that the acharyas are subordinate to "managers," and Sigmund Freud, and "a sannyasa ministry." Which previous acharyas were subordinate to a sannyasa ministry? Why is sannyasa ministry leader, Prahladananda -- in charge of the acharyas? If he is the "greater authority" than the acharya? And if so, why is he not made the main acharya of ISKCON instead of his tenth class status as a GBC lackey? Why do acharyas need to be "investigated" for evil actions? Why was the author of the SDG scandal letter forced to be anonymous, because he will be repressed otherwise? Again, this raises more unanswered questions.]

* I had already responded to the Ministry as well as the GBC Executive Committee and they had asked that I not write my letter to my disciples in order for them to have time to conduct a proper inquiry. Out of respect for their request, I did not communicate with you directly at first. This accounts for why you didn't hear from me, why I was silent. You had to hear rumors about me while I could say nothing from my side. I had to wait for the GBC to come to their final conclusions and it took a long time. I was on pins and needles every day waiting. At the end, I felt I was again collapsing from the pressure that was building. I was waiting for it for myself and I was waiting for it for you. My hands were tied; I could not tell you.

[PADA: Why are the acharya's hands tied by a committee? Which previous acharyas could not speak because they had to wait for some committee, the same committee that says deviants are in the chain of Krishna's successors? Thanks pd]

full version of Satsvarupas letter here