UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN'S GRIEF
(an ex-child's experience fwd to pada)

From: ******@aol.com
Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2000 19:17:09 EDT
Subject: children's grief
To: angel108b@yahoo.com

Dear pada, This letter says it all? Can some adults put themselves in the shoes of these kids? I do not think many of the adults would have survived what this one kid experienced? Were people too busy buying mango lassis for the gbc?

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I live only miles away from the temple I grew up in. I have never been contacted in any way, and just found out about the lawsuit on the news. I hope this does completely ruin the devotees. Don't let the door hit ya on your way back to India, where you belong. This cult belongs in a country where women and children are not important. Family means nothing to devotees. Sad really.......

Like I said though, I am living only miles from the temple I grew up in. This is the temple I was raised in, this is the temple I gave myself to in every way, even ways I did not want to. I gave everything to this god ....everything I could at the age 4. My world revolved around pleasing these *** holes who raped me. I came to believe the abuse was normal. I gave my heart, my soul, my love, my body to these people. What did they expect of a child?

The memories are coming back so vividly now. I have been away from the movement for fifteen years, I put it in the back of my head, and I went on with life. I conformed to the "kharmis" because I had to survive. I was dropped in the real world in fifth grade, terrified of the kharmis, but so glad to be away from the devotees.

What the hell were they thinking? No cult can stay alive for long if the children are desperate to leave. Most of us hate the ground the temples stand on, and have dismissed a majority of the beliefs, simply because of our anger. After fifteen years of trying sooooo hard not to remember, I find myself thinking of little else now. It has consumed me completely lately. I was driving down the highway, and a flashback almost made me wreck my car. What a life we get to live now thanks to these *** holes.

Those jerks took so much from us. They took away the joy of love-making from me. Because my little baby body was messed with so much at such a young age, I will never be able to enjoy love-making, I will never desire for my husband to touch me. While the emotional desire is there, the act of love-making sickens me, and hurts terribly. I have had to have surgeries performed because of the pain in that area.

So, you jerks ...just as you spit upon me as a little girl, now I will spit upon your faces. Go to hell. I hope and pray, even if I cannot find the strength to join the lawsuit, I pray that your temples ALL have to be sold! I hope all of you guys, and ladies that allowed the abuse to go on, will also burn in hell.

I don't know anymore who God is...I know there is a higher being, and I know that being will not let those bastards get away with what they did.

BURN!!!!!!!! BURN!!!!!!!! BURN!!!!!!!!

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SITES TO CHECK OUT:

Srila Prabhupada wanted to be poisoned?
* http://www.equalsouls.org/tkg

* PRABHUPADANUGA'S:
* Oldham, UK (PSSHearing@prabhupada.freeserve.co.uk)
* New York City, phone: 212-674-0698 (pss52@hotmail.com)
* Seattle, Wa (Dhamaghosa dasa 206-729-0111) dasdasdas@aol.com

* http://iskcontimeline.homepage.com Nandini's history site
* http://www.krishnabooks.org Krishna Books
* http://www.prabhupada.cc Prabhupada samkirtana site

* http://mitglied.lycos.de/pada/ (Pada's Newsletter Archive)
* http://www.krishna.org/ (S.P. REAL AUDIO download)
* http://members.xoom.com/manvantar/index.htm (Sulochana's Homepage) 
* http://www.vedabase.com/  (Vedabase)
* http://tsa.ppp.ripco.net/das/articles.htm (DAS)
* http://tsa.ppp.ripco.net/padaweb/puranjan.html (Puranjana's Site)

* POISON TAPE audio and pada newsletters: 
* http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Parliament/3933 
* POISON TRANSCRIPT 
* http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Parliament/3933/19990519.htm 

* http://www.winink.com/tkg/  (Tamal Krishna)
* http://mitglied.lycos.de/gbc   (GBC expose)
* gbc_108@hotmail.com  (e-mail)

* http://pages.infinit.net/pragosh/home.html  (FRENCH)
* http://www.unlimited-resources.com/anubhavananda.html  
* http://members.aol.com/gauridas (Gauridasa Pandita Dasa)
* http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/5708/  (SPANISH)
* http://www.com.org/hb/ptd/cyber_gurukula.htm)  (Cyber gurukula)
* http://www.islandnet.com/krsna/  (Rocana's site)
* http://www.islandnet.com/krsna/vada/poison/poison.htm  (Poison issue)
* Vipramukhya and Jayadvaita's "illicit sex guru" rationalizations
* http://www.artnet.net/~yasoda/index.htm  [appointment tape fraud]
* http://www.gaura-nitai.net Gaura-Nitais Homepage Deutsch

* ISKCON WOMEN-PRABHUPADA'S TIME (by Jyotirmayi Devi Dasi)
* Polygamy In The Hare Krishna Movement (Pritha's Page)